So when you go to college in Downeast Maine you get alot of two things thrown in your face alot.

1.) Allen's Family Brand Coffee Brandy.

2.) LTD Canadian Whiskey.

Now, to be honest, unless you're a Mainer, neither of these things taste great on their own. The Coffee Brandy is sorta like a really bad Kahlua and you can do the normal Kahlua things like;

White Russian: Coffee Brandy, Chocolate Milk.

Caucasian: Coffee Brandy, Cream, Vodka, Milk (watch the Coen Brother's 1998 film The Big Lebowski)

Tootsie Roll: Coffee Brandy, Root Beer (doesn't taste much like a Tootsie Roll unless you use the real Kahlua)

But when it comes to LTD you have to keep in mind that... well... it tastes horrible. It's still a whiskey but it's bad enough quality that you can ruin the classics, like a nice Whiskey Sour. There is one thing that really works very well even with LTD brand though, and I have recently brought to my old friends here in Vermont. It is of course;

A Boiler Maker: Take one beer. (it's best with BudLite but Steel Reserve and Malt Liquor like Colt 45 works very well)                            Take one shot of Whiskey (as would make sense, it takes better with the quality stuff, but it does mask the bad ones)
                        And drop the shot into the glass of beer. Like a Jagerbomb, I know you know how to do it. This can also work well with the Quaffer.
                  
Just remember that it's called a boilermaker for a reason. And you'll know that reason when it feels like something is boiling in your gut. Have fun with them but don't drink too many.

        

So I guess it's time to finally let you all know about something you should have been told about a long time ago.

The Long Trail Brewery located in Bridgewater Corners, Vermont is a small building tucked away among the mountains of Eastern Vermont. It's such a small building that most people find it hard to believe that it's a brewery. But within that small factory of delicious liquid is a true treasure to behold.

The first Long Trail that I ever had was the Blackberry Wheat which is a very sweet tasting American Wheat. It is indeed almost bitter and a few people have told me that they are not fans. But as for me I truly enjoy it. It has a thick taste that has just a slight hint of a fruity sweetness, but when the aftertaste comes it really just makes the beer complete. I can't imagine why but the taste reminds me of eating a blackberry flavored cheesecake. Long Trail has been making this particular blend since 1996.

The second blend I ever had from them for their Hefewiezen. Unfortunately for the both of us I can't fully remember what it tasted like. But the reason I mention it here is that it recently won the gold medal for the "Wheat Beer" catagorie at The Great International Beer Festival. Long Trail has offered this style year round since May of 2006.

German Altbier/ The Long Trail Ale is 12oz. of amber colored heaven. This beer stands as my second favorite beer to just sit and drink. It's far too bitter for drinking games, and if you're planning on drinking alot in a short amount of time (i.e. Beer Pong, Chandeliers, Flip Cup) then do not pick up The Long Trail Ale. It will more than likely not settle well in your stomach and it will be a huge case of misappropriated money, as it does tend to run for about $12 for a 12 pack. Take my advice though, stock up on some and keep them around to drink sparingly with meals. The Long Trail Ale has been the signature of the company since November of 1989.

Long Trail's IPA is bitter like an IPA should be, but good like most IPAs aren't. I've only had these once but they left an impression as the best IPA I've had yet, and it's only been around since 2005.

The Double Bag. 7.2% and dark as hell. If most college students know about Long Trail it's for this brew alone. It's a great party beer. YOu can drink it slowly and still get fairly drunk fairly fast. It's just as potent as a Molson XXX but tastes atleast 5 times better. Plus, who doesn't like drinking anything with cow utters on the label. Been around since 1994.

Even though I'm an English Major studying writing, I still can't think of good enough words to explain the taste of Long Trail's Belgian White. I've had it side by side to the Sam Adams Belgian White and it beat it hands down. I've taste tested it against the Blue Moon Belgian White, While Blue Moon is very good brew and tasted great it didn't quite measure up to the Long Trail version. It's tastes like beer, but sweeter, with a fruity citrus aftertaste. It's great for parties, it's great for dinner, and it's an awesome marinade for chicken. Any daily activity is made better with the Long Trail Belgian White. (Except driving. Don't be stupid.) Get it while you can though, it's still just a seasonal production. Started that one right in Spring of 2008.

Long trail also makes an Unfiltered Scottish Ale by the name of Hibernator. It's a seasonal ale for the winter and has been kicking around since 1995. I can't offer any more information that though, I haven't had it yet.

Same law applies for the Brown Ale, Harvest. Which I haven't had yet. It's been made since 1994 and is still a seasonal ale for the Fall.

Enjoy the brews. Drink Responsibly. And if you find yourself in that region of the state stop by and snag a few straight off the line.

        

Beer-Can Chicken (also called Beer-Butt Chicken)

I'm sure that everyone has heard of this by now but if you haven't then you definitely should know that beer makes an awesome marinade for meat, particularly Chicken. (I actually don't know of anyone trying it for Turkey so don't hold my opinion true on that one.)

The best way to make Beer-Can Chicken is to get a special stand that holds the can upright making it easy to slide it inside of the whole chicken through the hollowed end which you can then simply place on the grill and cook until awesome.

When it comes to selecting the beer for this it really doesn't matter as far as I know but you do want a nice thick beer (so anything cheap) I haven't tried it but I'd imagine that any skunky tasting beers would be right out of the category though.
I've mostly seen it done with a regular can of Budwieser (not BudLite) and while Ely certainly would not condone the use of it, I'm afraid I must advocate it in this case. I do have a strong theory that Pabst or Natural beers might be even better.

However, I recently stumbled upon an even better way to do it. We were having a fire out in the woods and had nothing to use except a cast-iron skillet which we had to place directly into the fire as close to the coals as possible, not really a safe way to cook. Anyway I had a regular Chicken Steak from Hannaford's and after throwing it into this skillet we just started pouring random liquids onto it. This is also more than likely not a safe way to cook anything especially meat. What we ended up with though was absolutely amazing, the list of ingredients are as follows but I'll leave to anyone to figure out the formula.

Jack Daniel's Barbecue Sauce
Orange Juice
Red Fruit Punch Drink (make sure it's full of sugar)
Strawberry Kiwi Flavored Rum
Blue Moon Belgian White Bottled Beer
and a random number of Pine Needles

I know it sounds terrible but it was awesome I promise.

Well, since I'm sure no one wants to try that recipe I suggest throwing a chicken steak into a marinade of straight Belgian White Beer.

From Ely - We use Mississippi Mud.  It's like a black and tan and comes in a big jug lookin' bottle.  Good stuff.

        

Okay so college may be more mature than High School but we still say and do a lot of immature things. Such as the name for this drink that I invented last semester.

Cunt Punch gets it's name from the unappealingly dull pink color that it is. As well as the fact that you never want to drink anything called Cunt Punch, which also happens to be your first reaction to the ingredients.

1 part Orange Juice
1 part Fruit Punch
1 part Orloff Vodka

Now if you haven't had Orloff then you really can't understand why this sounds so bad.

Orloff is the cheapest Vodka I've ever seen, and I pride myself on enjoying 5 O'clock. Orloff is like two steps below Fleischman's and I know people who use it to clean their boat. It's $12 for a 1/2 gallon, knocks you in face on the way down and makes your eyes water when the after-burn comes.

You may be saying "why use Orloff?" and the simple answer is tradition but really the biggest part is that Orloff adds the punch to the name and without it the taste is sort of lacking. Contrary to logic Cunt Punch actually tastes alright and the drunker you get the less you measure out the input and you end with stuff like

1       part   Orange Juice
1/4    part   Fruit Punch
1 3/4 parts Orloff

which somehow tastes almost exactly the same. This is a very versatile drink. And I highly recommend trying some.

        

--

        

The last post, on cheap beer, was from our East Coast blogger, Asa. I
wanted to add the following thoughts as well.

First, when I was younger, we did a "controlled" experiment with Coors Light
& Keystone. We would get off work (dinner shift at a restaurant), buy a 12
pack of Coors Light, each drink six beers and get a good buzz, then go to
bed. We then decided to try Keystone since it's made by the same company
and cheaper. So, for two or three days in a row, we got a 12 pack of
Keystone instead. Each night we would each drink six beers, in the same
time frame as usual. Each night, after the six beers, we were left sitting
around going, "WTF??? Where is my buzz?!? Let's go get more beer."

MORAL: Cheap beer is often more expensive in the long run. And you wind up
pissing more.

Second, American beers (Bud Light, Coors Light, etc.) all basically taste
bad. The colder something is, the less you taste it. Ergo, all the beer
commercials talk about how ICE COLD their beer is. What they mean is, drink
our beer as cold as possible to avoid actually tasting it.

Finally, I have serious issues with Bud/Bud Light. They put rice in their
beer people. And they even brag about it! Germany/Bavaria used to have a
beer purity law called Reinheitsgebot, which provided that the only
ingredients that could be used in the production of beer was water, barley,
hops. NO RICE ALLOWED. It was passed in 1516 and was in effect until
repealed in 1987 (probably after much lobbying by Anheuser Busch). So, next
time you wonder why you have a horrible headache from drinking Butt Light,
remember the rice. It's not beer . . . it's beer-flavored saki. And
friends don't let friends drink beer-flavored saki (unless you're doing saki
bombers, but that's another story all together).

Be safe people. Drink intelligently.

        

Cheap Beer- Natural Ice, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Keystone Light, Busch

Cheap beer is what happens when a major brewing company finds a new recipe
that doesn't taste as good but is extremely cheap to make.

Most cheap beers (all that I've ever had) are offshoot brews from larger
companies:

NATURAL Beer (Ice, Light) is an off brew from the good people at Anheuser
Busch and has a very full flavor. In fact the beer tastes rather thick and
if you're not drinking it ice cold then it's going to taste absolutely
terrible. The plus side to the natural brews is simply that they are very
cheap; in Vermont you can purchase a 30 rack for around $15.

Pabst Blue Ribbon is a production of the Miller Brewing Company and really
doesn't taste as bad as it's price would reflect; in Maine you can get a
Pabst Blue Ribbon keg for only $75 and a normal 12 pack of cans is less than
$10. I've heard recently that it comes in bottle form but I've not seen it
so I can't tell you anything. One fun thing about Pabst is that if you get
nice and cold it almost tastes like Miller and I actually mistook it for
just that once. If you ever find yourself in the Canadian city of Montreal,
Quebec remember that the city loves Heineken, and Pabst the official punk
rock beer in the city.

Keystone (light) is possibly the worst thing I've ever tasted. I actually
need a chaser to drink Keystone, it tastes almost like barley and if you
drink it warm it almost tastes like bad meat (don't try it). I've only had
two experiences with Keystone. I bought it once in Vermont for $11 a 30
rack, which it is worth, but in Maine I was unaware of it costing much more
and had to pay $17 for two 12 racks. That night I found out exactly how bad
it tastes. I ended up chugging most of them to try and not taste it. (that
doesn't work either)

Busch Brand Beer (light) is another off brew from the good people at
Anheuser Busch and really just tastes like someone watered down your Bud
Light. It isn't bad by any means but doesn't taste great either. After about
three or four the taste starts to get to you but if you're drinking to get
drunk there's really nothing wrong with Busch. It costs about as much as
Pabst and they taste about the same so it's entirely up to you as to which
is better.

On a second lighter note: check out an amazing beer I found in Montreal
called Brahma. It's a Brazilian production and isn't imported to the States
but Canada's got it and it's awesome!!! The smoothest beer I've ever had.
Puts Budweiser to shame, and makes Red Stripe tastes bad.

        

(This from Asa, our East Coast Blogger):

Miracle Berries

I was drinking with some friends on St.Patrick's Day and after about five
cans of the good 'ol Busch brand beer the taste was starting to get to me.
Instead of letting me slow down my drinking my friend said "here, I want you
to try something" and hands me a small square of a red gummy texture. And
five minutes later I was in a world of flavor.

The thing he handed me was called a Miracle Berry, it's a small raspberry
type fruit from Africa that leaves an impression on your taste buds for
about an hour. You put it in your mouth and suck on it for about 5 minuets,
don't swallow or spit or drink for those 5 minuets. After the time is up
you'll find that beer, even Busch beer, tastes like seltzer water, and a
badly mixed Sex On The Beach* just tastes sweet as a peach.

*1 part Orange Juice
1 part Vodka
1 part Peach Schnapps

the one I had was more like
1/4 part Orange Juice
1 3/4 part Orlov Vodka
1 part Dekuyper's Peach Schnapps

        

This from Asa, our East Coast (Maine) corespondent:

In further discussion of the energy drinks making the best chasers, I have
to bring up an amazing energy drink that I hadn't seen until I came to
Maine.

BOO-KOO was to best chaser/mixer I've ever used.

I'm well aware of Red Bull being a very good chaser, in fact I still use it
for Jager Bombs no matter what because it's just tradition. Boo-Koo,
however, has a nice sour flavor that still resembled the fruit that used to
make it, unlike the RedBull. (Plus it comes it larger cans).

If you added liquor to Boo-Koo it still just tasted like Boo-Koo, mind you I
only got the chance to try this with Vodka and Rum but the cheap Vodkas were
like "$15 a 5th" kinda cheap, so you know it tastes bad straight.

DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT OR REVIEW OF A PRODUCT THAT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE HERE?
JUST SEND ME A COMMENT AND I'LL EDIT AND POST IT!

        

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the number of new energy drinks
that show up every year. Red Bull led the way, but Rockstar, Monster, and
several others soon followed.

I remember when Rockstar debuted at the Las Vegas Night Club and Bar Show.
They had a small corner booth and a limo. These days they have a HUGE
presence at the shows, with an enormous RV. Monster also started small and
are now huge. Hype is a good energy drink that used to buy a lot of
Quaffer but decided to steal the idea rather than continue to buy them (bad
company, BAD! BAD!)

Red Bull always had a large presence but would never give us product to pour
into the Quaffer shot glasses. They were always afraid of being perceived
as promoting Red Bull as a chaser. So, we would hit the dozens of other
energy drinks! Shark energy drink was one of my favorites. Piranha energy
drink has tons of different flavors which are all different colors. They
make for great mixers as well.

But, what is the BEST chaser? That is very hard to say! Anything that is
citrus-based, like Red Bull, is going to work well with Jagermeister. The
citrus tends to cut through the "cough-syrup" aspect of Jager and thus
cleanse your palette quickly. (Another good Jager chaser is Orange Crush,
although it is not an energy drink).

The one problem with Red Bull is that it is sort of the color of piss, thus
not making for a very visually appealing shot. But, as to which is the
best chaser, well, that is up to your personal preference. So, go get some
booze, some energy drinks and start taste testing!